Love

Dating 101: URI Edition

July 24, 2015 in Alive Campus, Campus Life, Colleges, Love

For students at the University of Rhode Island, dating, hooking up, and relationships are pretty common. With 15,000 undergrads on one campus it’s no wonder one-night-stands, long-term relationships, and hook ups are happening. What makes our college campus different from others is how approachable students are. More often than not people are friendly making it easier to meet new people.

What is dating like at URI? I couldn’t really give you a general yet accurate explanation of how it works. From what I’ve seen, we’ve got an even split between relationships and hooks-up. More often than not, single Rhody Rams will take advantage of just about any situation to meet those of the opposite sex. From casual encounters in your classrooms to overly intoxicated nights at the bars, there’s always an end goal: to find someone of the opposite sex to share a medium McDonald’s fries with by the end of the night. No really….I don’t think there’s a way to sum up dating at URI because it all depends on who you ask.

Study Buddy

Study Buddy

I’m single and I like to ‘study’ I have been a witness to a few relationships and hooks up that have sparked from the sharing of interests between two students. It could be their involvement in a club or sport, a course their taking, or a favorite place to just relax. A lot of students at URI will meet during the course of a semester in their classes according to their major. Once you’ve seen someone in one of your classes, the odds are they’ll probably be in another one later on in your college career. Might as well make friends with them, right? After the initial encounter has been overcome, it’s a lot easier for students to transition out of that stage. Ever heard of study buddies and project partners? Well, you’ve just found yourself one that could last a little longer than the actual course does (wink).

Where should I go on my first date? Luckily for you, the University of Rhode Island is located fifteen minutes away from the beach and local restaurants. A walk on the Narragansett Seawall might be a nice start for your date and could transition to dinner at George’s of Galilee. You can never go wrong with seafood, especially the fresh seafood you’ll find in Rhode Island. There’s other possibilities like take a trip to Providence (WARNING: the ride is about 30-minutes so if you’re on a date with someone who isn’t talkative, be prepared for a long and awkward car ride). In Providence you’ll find more to do like arcade games and dinner at Dave and Busters or a walk around the Providence Place Mall. There’s always a lot to do in the heart Rhode Island so you’ll never get bored if you go out on a date there.

Next time you find yourself at the library or in the crowded room of a frat party, look around and introduce yourself to someone. You never know who you may meet; it could be your future Rhody Ram bride or groom or even one-night-stand.

The CC Scene Told Through Disney Movies

April 17, 2015 in Academics, Alive Campus, Campus Life, Health, Love, Sports

I absolutely love watching movies about the college experience. So what better way than to tell you the ABSOLUTE truth about the CC social scene than through DISNEY MOVIES? Yes, you read right. #enjoy

Monsters University

1. STUDY, STUDY, STUDY. AND MORE STUDY. Monsters University is probably one of the best sequels in all of Disney movie history! (Sorry Disney, we only speak the truth.) What makes this movie even more fantastic? IT CANNOT BE MORE TRUE! Part of a community college social scene are people studying. If you have goals to reach, the library might just be your BFF! One-eyed Mike Wazowski has the dream of being a full-fledged scarer, and he knows that studying is one way to get there! So what are you all doing? Let’s get to studying! #hopontoit

The Rescuers

2. THE CLUB LIFE. We crown Bernard and Miss Bianca King and Queen of The Club Life! Community College is all about networking, and what better way to do that than to join clubs? Join clubs that you take interest in! Are you a woman with a voice? Feminist Club may be your calling. Do you have a knack for acting? The Theatre Club would love to have you! Of course if saving little children from villainous people if your thing, the Rescue Aid Society may be hiring in your area. #rescuersreference

Hercules

3. ZERO TO HERO. The social scene is more than just joining clubs and studying. It’s also about staying fit and staying healthy! Many college students take part in after- school activities such as sports. Taking part in a sport gives you discipline and allows you to meet people with the same passion you do. In my opinion, if it worked for Hercules, it could work for you, too! Who doesn’t want killer abs and toned legs for beach season? #notme!

Lady and the Tramp

4. THE OCCASIONAL DATE. Yes, once in while you will get asked out and hopefully, he or she will sweep you off your feet! This is one of the most looked-forwarded to things when it comes to embracing the social scene in college. Have fun and enjoy the time you have meeting new girls or guys. BUT, don’t let your emotions cloud your head! This is still school, which means you need to keep your grades in check and at all times! So with that said; Stop day- dreaming and get back to studying!

Tangled

5. LEAVE THE TOWER. Rapunzel knows what she’s doing; It’s time to leave the tower. Yes, of course you may take a break from studying so hard in the library! Explore the community surrounding your college! I go to school in Pasadena, California which is great because just five minutes away is an outdoor mall! Tons of college kids hang around the surrounding community after school to relax and enjoy the college life. You did more than just apply to go to school, you also applied to become part of the community. Take advantage of it. It could just end up being your #bestdayever.

Sleeping Beauty

6. FOR THE MOST PART. Aurora has the right idea. Sleeping is the one thing you will be doing for most of your college experience. Because let’s face it, after studying hard, joining clubs, working out, going on romantic dates, and exploring the surrounding community, we just become DEAD TIRED. Right, Aurora? #imakemyselflaughsometimes Luckily for us college kids, we don’t need a kiss from a prince or princess to wake us up. So after you get your beauty sleep, you better wake up and do it again. Like now. #onrepeat

Until Next Time!

 

Finding Love at Florida State

March 18, 2015 in Alive Campus, Love

Library Love

Library Love

Dating is one of the many difficult yet exciting experiences of college that almost all students will confront at some point, whether it is throughout all four years of college or just a few short months. Some students prefer to be single their first few years to enjoy the freedom of college without any relationship constraints to hold them back, while others prefer to have a significant other by their side every step of the way. In any case, all relationships are fundamentally different and should never be compared with one another. While some may be successful and smooth-sailing from day one, others may experience several patches of ups and downs over the course of time, but still turn out to be a success. This is especially common in college, as students are still coming to terms with who they are what they see for their potential future, whether or not that includes the current person they are dating.

At FSU specifically, I would say that at least half of the student population is in a committed relationship, maybe even slightly more. After all, there are a ton of students confined to the city of Tallahassee, so going out to the same places on the same night is a common practice of the FSU population. This makes it exceptionally easy to meet people and develop relationships with someone new almost any night of the week. However, the downside to this is that you will oftentimes meet people while intoxicated at the bar on a Saturday night. This frequently results in one-night stands that come with a disappointed stance the next day when you don’t receive the text you were originally promised as you parted ways. Unfortunately, several college students at a party school as big as FSU are more interested in the hook-up than the long run, especially freshmen, who believe they can conquer the world their first year. This makes going to bars and house parties difficult to find anything serious, but still not impossible. Of course, there are always exceptions and those who are truly serious about finding a partner.

Almost every restaurant or coffee shop you go to in Tallahassee is packed with couples showering each other with PDA. There are a number of local bars and nice restaurants that attract couples to enjoy a nice dinner or just a drink for a date night. A huge spot for meeting someone for a first date or enjoying dinner and drinks with your significant other is Madison Social. It turns into a bar at night, but quickly retreats back to a restaurant, especially on Sunday morning for brunch dates. College town in general is a romantic spot for couples, with Moda’s Italian restaurant and frozen yogurt for nearby dessert. Some of the more expensive restaurants for date nights include Bella Bella or Harry’s, which are usually visited for special occasions, such as “anniversaries” (ex: dating for a year) or birthdays. Momo’s Pizza and Monks are also spots that call for a cheap Friday night for couples on a budget. Brunch and coffee is also a Sunday morning ritual for FSU couples at places like Brooklyn Water Bagel and Prime Time.

College Couple

College Couple

Meeting people either in classes or through mutual friends is probably the most successful way for relationships to develop at FSU as opposed to the hook-up scene at the bars. While strolling the beautiful campus on a typical school day, you will find young lovebirds chatting on benches during their breaks, enjoying a coffee date at Starbucks, or simply walking each other to class, hand-in-hand. It’s impossible to walk the campus any day of the week without noticing at least one couple, smiling from ear to ear as they share with one another the events of their day and the test they forgot to study for. This may be surprising for a school with such a big party scene, but it’s obvious that meeting is not hard to come by. Believe it or not, Tinder has become another means through which several people meet, which is increasing with time due to the huge reliance our generation has on chatting through social media sites.

There are actually several Greek life couples at FSU also, meaning that fraternity and sorority members are usually in relationships with one another. This may be because they are frequently paired up for occasions, specifically date functions and nights out at the bar. In a case like this, it is very easy to meet multiple people through mutual friends from your Greek organization. This is one of the reasons people rush to be a member of Greek life in the first place. It promises meeting people, whether that be a strong group of friends or a significant other. Whatever the case, if you are really looking, you are bound to eventually meet someone in those four years through just your Greek organization alone.

Finally, several students at FSU are from south Florida and in long-distance relationships with their high school sweetheart from back home. I have spoken to various amounts of students that have healthily maintained their relationship with their significant other hours away in sunny south Florida, which is actually surprisingly hard to do considering there are so many people attending FSU. You’re bound to meet someone new. Trips home on weekends have become a way of life for these couples, driving along I-75 with music blasting to see their boyfriend/ girlfriend for the weekend, resulting in another Sunday of disappointment as they pack up and leave for Tallahassee once again. It’s an exhausting process, but not impossible.

Young Love

Young Love

It’s important to remember, however, that every couple has their own story. While we may oftentimes see the happy couple claiming to be in love blowing up our social media feeds, little do we know that just met drunk at a party a month ago and are bound for failure once the honeymoon phase has diminished. Our generation has become so consumed by basing our lives around social media as a means of bragging that we easily forget the truth behind each couple’s story. So, while FSU may have a number of couples frolicking along its beautiful grounds, this does not necessarily mean that these students have officially met the loves of their lives. I have heard multiple stories of couples meeting at FSU and eventually moving on to engagement and marriage, but I have also heard of couples breaking up after just a few months due to immature jealousy issues and so on. College is a learning process that you will both fail and succeed at in multiple ways, which certainly includes the whole experience of dating and finding your soulmate. Have fun with it and appreciate every person you meet throughout your time in college. The first person you meet may not be “the one,” which is completely okay. Remember that if any relationships don’t work out, it’s just another learning experience, which is what college is really all about.

Video Analyses: Being Queer in College

February 7, 2015 in Alive Campus, Campus Life, Love

“This is by no means an all-inclusive list of advice. [Also] I’m working with the assumption that you’re going to attend a fairly liberal university.”

“This is by no means an all-inclusive list of advice. [Also] I’m working with the assumption that you’re going to attend a fairly liberal university.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-gc60MSqIU

David Levitz’s Being Gay in College is a concise presentation of suggestions for a gay college student. As he states in his disclaimer, “This is by no means an all-inclusive list of advice. [Also] I’m working with the assumption that you’re going to attend a fairly liberal university.” I want to extend that disclaimer by making it clear that his advice pertains only to the G acronym in LGBTQ+. In this video, David discusses the notion that liberal colleges are, in relation to high schools, wonderful environments in which to come out and perform your gender or sexuality in whatever form you desire. He continues by discussing the necessity to take LGBT courses (As a gender studies major, I absolutely concur), join queer on- and off-campus organizations, attend queer events/parties, and—most importantly—to find a “gay mentor.” As someone who’s watched his fair share of queer advice videos, I haven’t seen many others make that last point—I can’t stress enough just how important it is to find someone in whom you can confide and from whom you can learn.

"While I understand that the video was a homemade, do-it-for-fun video made by two friends, I found the advice a tad-bit over simplistic and, quite frankly, a tad bit problematic."

“While I understand that the video was a homemade, do-it-for-fun video made by two friends, I found the advice a tad-bit over simplistic and, quite frankly, a tad bit problematic.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4M3K8sUJ4A

TheButchandtheBear’s How to be Gay in College provides a brief—and problematic—synopsis of how one should perform their gender or sexual identity while in college. Essentially, the video is literally telling you how to be a gay person—“Be yourself, dress to impress, show a little pride, and surround yourself with other gays.” While I understand that the video is a homemade, do-it-for-fun video uploaded by two friends, I find the advice a tad-bit over simplistic and, quite frankly, a tad bit problematic. Firstly, there is no disclaimer about the limitations created by one’s sexual or gender identity (the tips only work for gay men) or one’s location (spatial recognition is incredibly important when thinking about the social-acceptance of an individual’s identities). Secondly, the tip about dressing to impress stereotypes gay men as always-fashionable and incredibly vain. Thirdly, surrounding oneself with other gays is actually a terrible idea, in my opinion! It’s great to have many queer friends and to participate in social and political organizations related to queer culture, but to only surround yourself with queer friends is a form of segregation—you are telling the world that you don’t want to befriend hetero-people nor do you want the hetero-community to get to know you. I understand the well-intentioned message behind the video, but gay advice videos are viewed by people in increasingly vulnerable positions and conditions, and to make light hearted satire of these vulnerabilities is plainly wrong.

"Why is there a difference between gay best friend and best friend? Can’t I just be your best friend that happens to be gay? Why mention my sexuality at all when you call me your best friend?"

“Why is there a difference between gay best friend and best friend? Can’t I just be your best friend that happens to be gay? Why mention my sexuality at all when you call me your best friend?”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_n4yDnJvuNI

Kingsley’s I Am Not Your Gay Best Friend is a sassy video that I snapped to during its entire run. As someone who performs his sexuality in a very flamboyant manner, I am oftentimes called “the gay best friend.” This phrase makes my blood boil as it does two things: A) Perpetuates the trope of the fashionable and sensitive gay bestie, and B) Puts my sexual identity at the front and center of my holistic identity (Why is there a difference between gay best friend and best friend? Can’t I just be your best friend that happens to be gay? Why mention my sexuality at all when you call me your best friend?) Kingsley hits these two points home when he deconstructs the stereotype of fashionable queer men: “I don’t give a fuck about your clothes…I don’t know anything about the seasons…if you ask me about the season, I’ll say ‘bitch, it’s spring.’” For anyone that’s ever faced this issue (looking at all of you gay men with those annoying sorority besties who think their “gay best friend” is the human-equivalent of a purse or a necklace), this video is top-notch.

Is Online Dating Worth It?

February 6, 2015 in Alive Campus, Campus Life, Colleges, Love

Online dating has been increasing and has become normal over the years. Virtually, meeting a person has become a easy method for those individuals who have a difficult time finding a person or are not very good with flirting or asking someone out in person to meet someone. Using the computer or app (which has become popular recently too) it’s easy to engage in a conversation and deepen the relationship. Yet, there are some important problems that I considered are not healthy for a person’s social engagement. First, hiding behind a computer or a mobile phone is what I consider, hiding from others. Second, it is possible that because you really do not know who the other person is like, even if they show you their picture, may be a horrible person who you should not associate with. Thirdly, in my option, it is better to meet a person the traditional way, meeting in person.

Online Dating

Online Dating!

Match.com: This website is one of the early websites to encourage online dating. Match has become so popular that people who are considered socially awkward are encouraged to use this site to meet someone. I can see why this website or even online dating in general can be beneficial to people who have a difficult time showing their good qualities because a lot of people, in this generation, focus on appearance and ignore the feelings and thinking of others. Yet, I still do not believe that hiding behind a computer is the best way to meet a person. For example, you may meet someone using this website and the way they express themselves are to your liking, but after meeting in person things start to change. Yes, online dating do come with some risks to meeting such as person, but why use a online website to get yourself in that situation. On the other hand there are some people who meet horrible people in the traditional way, in person.

The statements above may sound like I am contradicting myself, but I just want to make clear that online dating is not for everyone. There are people who although have a difficult time meeting a person the traditional, in person, would rather wait until it happens than try online dating.

Tinder: I’ve never use the Tinder app before, so my opinion about it may not be fully accurate. I do want to say that after reading some reviews about this app, it can be interesting meeting people around your area who you have never met before. Like many other apps, Tinder has horrible reviews that just doesn’t want to make a person use it.

Apps and websites can be a good way to help others meet someone whom they might be interested in, but it is important to recommend that using the internet to meet someone who you might want to spend the rest of your life will be a gamble. I would rather go the normal way to meet someone like thought a friend, a party, in a event, church, train, cafe, etc. It is a story to remember and not just say we met in a website like Match or though an app like Tinder.