hook-ups

Finding Love at Florida State

March 18, 2015 in Alive Campus, Love

Library Love

Library Love

Dating is one of the many difficult yet exciting experiences of college that almost all students will confront at some point, whether it is throughout all four years of college or just a few short months. Some students prefer to be single their first few years to enjoy the freedom of college without any relationship constraints to hold them back, while others prefer to have a significant other by their side every step of the way. In any case, all relationships are fundamentally different and should never be compared with one another. While some may be successful and smooth-sailing from day one, others may experience several patches of ups and downs over the course of time, but still turn out to be a success. This is especially common in college, as students are still coming to terms with who they are what they see for their potential future, whether or not that includes the current person they are dating.

At FSU specifically, I would say that at least half of the student population is in a committed relationship, maybe even slightly more. After all, there are a ton of students confined to the city of Tallahassee, so going out to the same places on the same night is a common practice of the FSU population. This makes it exceptionally easy to meet people and develop relationships with someone new almost any night of the week. However, the downside to this is that you will oftentimes meet people while intoxicated at the bar on a Saturday night. This frequently results in one-night stands that come with a disappointed stance the next day when you don’t receive the text you were originally promised as you parted ways. Unfortunately, several college students at a party school as big as FSU are more interested in the hook-up than the long run, especially freshmen, who believe they can conquer the world their first year. This makes going to bars and house parties difficult to find anything serious, but still not impossible. Of course, there are always exceptions and those who are truly serious about finding a partner.

Almost every restaurant or coffee shop you go to in Tallahassee is packed with couples showering each other with PDA. There are a number of local bars and nice restaurants that attract couples to enjoy a nice dinner or just a drink for a date night. A huge spot for meeting someone for a first date or enjoying dinner and drinks with your significant other is Madison Social. It turns into a bar at night, but quickly retreats back to a restaurant, especially on Sunday morning for brunch dates. College town in general is a romantic spot for couples, with Moda’s Italian restaurant and frozen yogurt for nearby dessert. Some of the more expensive restaurants for date nights include Bella Bella or Harry’s, which are usually visited for special occasions, such as “anniversaries” (ex: dating for a year) or birthdays. Momo’s Pizza and Monks are also spots that call for a cheap Friday night for couples on a budget. Brunch and coffee is also a Sunday morning ritual for FSU couples at places like Brooklyn Water Bagel and Prime Time.

College Couple

College Couple

Meeting people either in classes or through mutual friends is probably the most successful way for relationships to develop at FSU as opposed to the hook-up scene at the bars. While strolling the beautiful campus on a typical school day, you will find young lovebirds chatting on benches during their breaks, enjoying a coffee date at Starbucks, or simply walking each other to class, hand-in-hand. It’s impossible to walk the campus any day of the week without noticing at least one couple, smiling from ear to ear as they share with one another the events of their day and the test they forgot to study for. This may be surprising for a school with such a big party scene, but it’s obvious that meeting is not hard to come by. Believe it or not, Tinder has become another means through which several people meet, which is increasing with time due to the huge reliance our generation has on chatting through social media sites.

There are actually several Greek life couples at FSU also, meaning that fraternity and sorority members are usually in relationships with one another. This may be because they are frequently paired up for occasions, specifically date functions and nights out at the bar. In a case like this, it is very easy to meet multiple people through mutual friends from your Greek organization. This is one of the reasons people rush to be a member of Greek life in the first place. It promises meeting people, whether that be a strong group of friends or a significant other. Whatever the case, if you are really looking, you are bound to eventually meet someone in those four years through just your Greek organization alone.

Finally, several students at FSU are from south Florida and in long-distance relationships with their high school sweetheart from back home. I have spoken to various amounts of students that have healthily maintained their relationship with their significant other hours away in sunny south Florida, which is actually surprisingly hard to do considering there are so many people attending FSU. You’re bound to meet someone new. Trips home on weekends have become a way of life for these couples, driving along I-75 with music blasting to see their boyfriend/ girlfriend for the weekend, resulting in another Sunday of disappointment as they pack up and leave for Tallahassee once again. It’s an exhausting process, but not impossible.

Young Love

Young Love

It’s important to remember, however, that every couple has their own story. While we may oftentimes see the happy couple claiming to be in love blowing up our social media feeds, little do we know that just met drunk at a party a month ago and are bound for failure once the honeymoon phase has diminished. Our generation has become so consumed by basing our lives around social media as a means of bragging that we easily forget the truth behind each couple’s story. So, while FSU may have a number of couples frolicking along its beautiful grounds, this does not necessarily mean that these students have officially met the loves of their lives. I have heard multiple stories of couples meeting at FSU and eventually moving on to engagement and marriage, but I have also heard of couples breaking up after just a few months due to immature jealousy issues and so on. College is a learning process that you will both fail and succeed at in multiple ways, which certainly includes the whole experience of dating and finding your soulmate. Have fun with it and appreciate every person you meet throughout your time in college. The first person you meet may not be “the one,” which is completely okay. Remember that if any relationships don’t work out, it’s just another learning experience, which is what college is really all about.

Dating or just mating: BSU inside scoop

October 24, 2014 in Campus Life, Love

In a generation where we make out before we make way for conversation and fancy dates are virtually obsolete, it is no surprise that Bridgewater State University falls into this predictable pattern. When I was still in grade school, I was put under the false (very, very false) impression that I would meet the love of my life in college. We would tell our kids the story of how we met bustling down the bleachers at a football game when suddenly we would collide and just like that it would play out like a movie. I knew this warped sense of reality was hopeless when I was a freshman and I saw a sign outside of some random guys yard next to a slip in slide that read, “Parents, leave your hot daughters here!”

From there it was just a matter of surviving. Every party I attended I saw that all guys wanted to do was drink, and hook up with freshman biddies. You might be looking at your computer screen saying to yourself, “Well DUH Alicia…” But in my defense I was primed to believe that there was room for true romance in college. Now, don’t get me wrong. There are some people who do get into loving, committed real relationships.

But as soon as the honeymoon phase fizzles out, they fight and break up over something as easy as watching your “other half” flirt at a party.

I will say though, these house parties are how many of these misfit couples meet in the first place and interact. The girls are gorgeous, and the men are thirsty. Sooner than you know it, the hookup pattern proves true, and everyone wakes up the next day like, “What the hell happened last night?” If you guys happened to exchange numbers you may have a date at our dining hall the next day, or maybe you’ll get a casual text the following Thursday that reads: What u doin tn? But I wouldn’t exactly call that chivalrous.

Can you blame anyone though…like really. How much romance can you fit into one twin sized bed? Maybe college isn’t the place where you are going to meet your one true love, maybe just your girlfriends. The place where you will make life long friends. So put the fairy tales down people, and pick up a funnel.

Virginia Military Institute: No Dating, Just Hating

August 20, 2014 in Alive Campus, Campus Life, Colleges, Love

No dating, Just hating

No dating, Just hating

With the majority of the students at V.M.I being male, the dating scene is few and far between. For us females, you would think we would be living the dream with all these military men around us, but this couldn’t be more false. Instead of wanting to date us, they hate us—at least when it comes to dating us.

Being a female myself at a mostly male military college, I have had this experience and witnessed it first-hand. There are probably around fifty girls in each of the four classes—freshmen, sophomores, juniors, and seniors—which isn’t many. We have to wear the same uniform that the men do and we have to have our hair back in a bun. Now I understand this may not be appealing to the guys at the school but it doesn’t make us any less a girl. We are still like the girls at civilian colleges who wear pretty dresses, want to go on dates and find our significant others, but the boys don’t pay us no mind. Instead, it’s like we have leprosy when it comes to dating us. We’re looked down upon by the guys for being a female going to a military college.

Now granted this isn’t all of the guys at the school, but I would say there is a good majority of them who do not like that we are there. They don’t like us because they are still bitter that the school admitted females, since it used to be an all-male school. So because of this, it is degrading for a male cadet to go out with a female cadet—also known as a shedet, in more offensive terms. Therefore, the guys steer clear of us when it comes to dating, which is unfortunate. But I suppose I wouldn’t want to date a man who looks down on women anyways and thinks I don’t belong there when I have fully proven that I have. Additionally, some of the guys who do recognize that we have proved ourselves still find it weird to date us because they look at us more like sisters than as a date.

So instead of dating the girls at VMI, the guys date girls at nearby civilian colleges. This is where they look for hook-ups, dating, and relationships. However, there isn’t much time to date since our schedules are so jam packed all the time. But when there is, the guys are always seen leaving on the weekends to go hang out with their girlfriends at civilian colleges. Some of their buddies will hook them up with a date also with their girlfriend’s friend and such. Additionally, there is a co-ed college within walking distance to VMI that some of the guys meet girls at, but it isn’t as common. Also, we have a ballroom dance club that meets on Friday nights and some girls from a neighboring all-girls school come to the club and dance with the boys that attend and there have been a few budding romances from that as well. In addition, there are also those die-hard boys and a few girls who are still with their high school sweethearts or girls/boys from their home towns. There are actually pretty many of these, surprisingly.

On the flip side though, there are a few lucky couples who defy the norm at school and date each other because they don’t care what other people think. I really look up to these couples a lot. When these couples go on dates or hang out, some of the places they may go would be the usual restaurants in town like the Palms or Macado’s where everyone goes, but that isn’t much fun because you have to wear your uniform and other cadets at the restaurant may make fun. Another option is to go out of town for a date. This way you don’t have to wear your uniform and you get away from the people who would make fun. The problem with this is not many cadets have a car on campus.

If you do date another cadet at school you must keep your relationship professional. You cannot hold hands or show affection in public and there is absolutely no hooking-up on campus because it is not allowed and there are serious consequences if you are caught. Additionally, there are specific regulations when dating someone who has military rank within the corps. For example, the cadet who is commander of the entire corps is not allowed to date any cadet because he holds power over everyone and there is a risk of that being abused in a relationship. Thus, just another turn off for guys dating girls within the corps because of the many rules.

So sadly, there isn’t a lot of dating that goes on at VMI, but I suppose that it’s not such a bad thing because then there is less drama and awkwardness. However, it is harder for the girls at the school to find a nice guy to date since there aren’t a lot of opportunities. Thus, some of the girls at school do end up hooking-up with the guys at school which ends up getting them bad reputations. This just makes it worse for the rest of us because it just gives the guys another reason for them to think that girls don’t belong there. Nevertheless, the dating scene is not going to change anytime soon and the guys will continue to look down upon us, but every once in a while there is a fairytale that emerges between two cadets who defy the odds.

Cadet Fairytale

Cadet Fairytale

Dating in College – Longwood University Style

August 8, 2014 in Alive Campus, Campus Life, Colleges, Love

A young couple holding hands.

A young couple holding hands.

With the population being mainly women, Longwood University might seem hopeless for college students looking to find their significant other.  But, despite the odds, Longwood offers many ways for people to meet others and date.  By putting yourself out there, and exploring the many clubs, organizations, different personalities at Longwood, there is someone for everybody.  So what is the dating and hook up culture at Longwood really like?  How and where do people meet each other?  Where are some good places for dates?

Well, I’ll give you the inside scoop and answer these burning questions.

So, are there a lot of couples at Longwood?

I think the answer to this question depends on who you hang out with.  Inside my group of friends, most of us are single.  But, within some other groups at Longwood, the majority of the people may be in relationships.  But, with that being said, I would say Longwood’s ratio of couples are about 50/50.  Half in relationships, the other half single.

Looking to Date?

For the outgoing people, dating and meeting other people for hook ups usually starts in the social scene.  The social scene at Longwood includes parties, clubs, organizations, and late night events.  Also for the social-loving girl, there is always the opportunity to go over to Hampden-Sydney College (H-SC) to meet men at the all boys college, which is fifteen minutes down the road.  Another way most relationships start are with in residential communities.  Residences that live on the same hall or in the same building, will find connections close to their home away from home, and eventually start to date.  Dating at Longwood also starts with putting yourself out there and talking to people at the dining hall, in the gym, library, at sporting events, and in your classes.

Looking for hook ups?
  • Go out to parties
  • For girls, travel to H-SC and hang out
  • Meet people around campus at late night events and in your residence hall
Looking for a relationship?
  • Put yourself out there
  • Explore different clubs and organizations
  • Get to know your peers
  • Go out to parties
  • Girls can go to H-SC and meet a guy there
Where do you meet people on campus?
  • D-hall
  • Clubs and Organizations
  • Student Union
  • Library
  • Sporting events
  • In classes
  • Lancer Productions events
Good Places for Dates Around Farmville, Virginia:
  • Macados- Mainly a sandwich restaurant that is great for social, group dates.
  • The Fish n’ Pig- This is an amazing, fairly new restaurant that features barbecue food.  Many students will choose here for a relaxing and casual date spot.
  • Charlie’s-  This is a great restaurant if you are looking to impress.  It is right on the water and serves excellent food.  Great for a first date.
  • Walker’s Diner- A nice place for a good breakfast date, for a couple who enjoys the simple things in life.
  • D-Hall- This one might sound weird, but if you are just meeting and hanging out, why not just stop by Longwood’s main dining hall for a quick lunch or dinner, to get to know each other before planning a real date.

Where the Wild Things Are: Hooking Up at Bridgewater State

August 3, 2014 in Campus Life, Colleges, Love, Reviews

When you go into college your freshman year, one of the most important changes you will go through is handling the amount of freedom you have. You don’t have someone breathing down your neck about a curfew, your drinking habits, or how often you watch Netflix. For most college students, this opens up a door that turns out to be one of the staples of living at school: hook-ups.

In college, the seemingly prehistoric age of dating is very much dead. If not dead, definitely buried alive and taking its last breathe. It’s no longer about dinner and a movie, mini-golf, or horseback riding on the beach (is that a thing?) Instead, “dating” has very much morphed into what girl blog authors would call “hook-up culture.” To meet someone worthy of shamefully waking up next to the morning after, you have to go out. To go out you have to be drunk because in today’s culture, you can’t talk to someone of the opposite sex without a little social lubrication.

At Bridgewater State, all the wild animals follow these same mating rules you see in the animal kingdom. The two biggest spots to find a hook-up are house parties and local bar, Bogart’s. House parties are a good way to meet people because typically, if you’re at a party, you have some sort of connection to those around you, making conversation easier. You can attempt to assert your male dominance by asking a girl to play beer pong with you. You can dance in a dimly lit basement and attempt to see how far your hands can go. House parties may be one of the best places to find a good hook-up, but not necessarily the best place to find future love.

Bogart’s Pub is one of the strangest places I have ever stepped foot into. It is essentially a house that someone had the bright idea of turning into a bar. On Wednesday nights, a sea of 21-year-olds and fake ID-wielders arrive to Bogart’s for the infamous college night. Pitchers of beer are $4, the DJ is probably playing an obnoxious techno remix of a Beyoncé song, and people are horny as all hell. I know a good amount of the people that attend this night, and they are always in rare form. Girls who you’d think have morals are in the middle of a grind sandwich between, and guys are hooking up with two girls at once. Bogart’s must have some sort of control over the moon, because it is constantly a full moon in that place. Taking a potential hook-up out of there is almost a guarantee if you want one.

The problem with Bridgewater’s hook-up culture (I am a girl blogger) is that the resident community, or students that live on/near campus full-time, is relatively small. Because of the campus’ size, it can feel like a high school at times, in that, a lot of people know a lot of your business. And, unfortunately, the business people are most interested in knowing about you is the name of the person you took out of Bogart’s last night. Word travels fast in the small community especially about “juicy gossip,” so it is always a struggle between enjoying yourself and being discrete about it. That’s why you should do what I do when it comes to hooking up: have no game so no one ever bangs you. Its that simple.