roommate

Roommate Nightmares from a Rhody Ram!

August 21, 2015 in Campus Life, Colleges

Roommate Nightmares

Roommate Nightmares

Whether or not you’ve decide to choose your roommates or go into your housing situation at school blindly, roommate stories are inevitable. Putting multiple guys, let alone ladies into a small room is a recipe for disaster, which is why I’ve put together the most common roommate nightmares for a college student at the University of Rhode Island.

My roommate is stealing my things: First off, if you know for a fact that your roommate is stealing your things tell your RA (Residential Assistant). They’re there to help mediate any situation, especially one that involves theft. If you are unsure that your roommate is stealing your food, clothes, and other belongings, simply ask them. There’s no point in trying to be Inspector Gadget and set up traps for them to fall into. Be honest and ask them upfront. They may have come home one night and have wanted some food to munch on and your pizza bagels were looking pretty good. Your roommate could have even forgotten that they took your food or favorite shirt. Don’t assume, just ask!

My roommate is always bringing guys/girls home: Don’t get on your roommates the case the first couple of times that this happens. It’s college and maybe they’re just trying to have a good time. My advice is that once this becomes a usual weekend scenario for you, bring it up to their attention. Maybe they haven’t realized that it makes you feel uncomfortable to hear them having sexual intercourse at 3AM or maybe they just don’t care. Whatever the case may be, if you feel unwelcome in your own room because your roommate is using your bedroom as the smush room, say something!

My roommate comes home drunk every night: If at this point your roommate is not concerned for his/her own well-being, it’s time to bring in the professionals. Getting drunk every so often while you’re at college is completely acceptable, but once partying gets in the way of school and your life, someone need’s to intervene. My advice would be to express your concern for them first, don’t attack them even if they threw up on your carpet! Once you have brought it to their attention, but they continue to do it, bring in your RA or even a few of your mutual friends. Your roommate may not thank you at that moment, but a few months down the road, they’ll thank you for setting them straight.

My roommate is messy: There is absolutely no excuses for a dirty, messy, unorganized human being other than the fact that they were probably not taught any better. Don’t let these bad habits slide because sooner or later you’ll be trying to avoid your room as much as possible and nobody wants that. A few tips to avoid the messy roommate situation may be to schedule a day and time to clean the room together or even assign chores like taking out the garbage or vacuuming the rug. Unless you’re the messy roommate in this situation, do your best to avoid this nightmare from the beginning. No one likes a sloppy incoherent roommate coming home in the middle of the night.

Some students never go through roommate nightmares, but for many these nightmares are all too realistic. Go about any situation with a clear state of mind, but with a goal in mind as well. The room you are sharing is also your property, therefore it should be shared and taken care of like a home. People aren’t always going to agree with your ideal way of living, but it is important to feel welcomed and at home in your dorm room!

Roommate Troubles

July 9, 2015 in Alive Campus, Campus Life

A Common College Conflict

A Common College Conflict

College wouldn’t be the same without some type of roommate drama. Whether it’s your best friend from kindergarten or simply just a random you were paired with, there’s a very high chance that you will clash with your roommate at some point in time. Sharing a tiny room with the same person and constantly having to work around each other’s schedules can be a difficult task for anyone, especially college students who want their own personal space during both free time and their stressful study sessions.

Unfortunately, if you want to dorm in college, there’s no way to avoid the situation of having a roommate unless you want to pay hundreds of extra dollars for a tiny one-bedroom apartment. But there’s no fun in that since you avoid meeting people, not to mention the amazing experience of dorm life. In order to avoid serious roommate conflict, my advice is to talk about boundaries and expectations at the beginning of the semester when moving in together. There usually will be a roommate contract that you discuss with your RA. When doing this, DON’T hold back just to seem like you’re a relaxed person. This was the one mistake my freshman year roommate and I made. We checked off everything on the roommate contract without reading it until we found that we had several issues with how the other was acting, resulting in a huge conflict that spun out of control. So, for example, if one is extremely social while the other is more introverted, it’s important to discuss this beforehand so parties aren’t thrown every night in the dorm room when it makes the other feel uncomfortable.

ALWAYS discuss the clothes situation, especially for girls. Some girls are completely fine with friends borrowing their clothes without permission, while some may have a mini heart attack just knowing their precious shirt was touched. (such as myself.) NEVER borrow your roommate’s clothes without asking permission. This is probably one of the most common mistakes girls tend to make. Start out by attempting to feel them out first, rather than awkwardly asking them their opinion on the matter. If they seem protective over their belongings, avoid the situation entirely.

Another thing to discuss is the “significant other” situation. If one has a boyfriend sleeping over every night, this should at least be approved by the roommate since this can be a touchy subject. Some may feel uncomfortable by it or see it as an invasion of privacy, which is understandable since it’s technically their room too. It should be a mutual compromise that is done out of respect for the other.

In the end, always expect to have some type of issue while dorming with someone, and just see it as another part of the whole college scene. There are little ways prevent an outburst by simply discussing it when the time comes. Roommates generally will clash over a living situation, whether it’s over one’s significant other being over too often or the other partying too much and stumbling in at 3 in the morning. No matter the case, it will eventually get resolved. Do your best to not make matters even more awkward by being silent. Confront the issue rather than bottle it up. And may the odds be in your favor.

Tales from the Dorm Room

September 19, 2014 in Campus Life

dorm_room2_big

dorm_room2_big

 

Living in a dorm room your first year of college can be an exciting experience. Getting the ultimate feel of the media enhanced college image and getting to meet your future roommate can be both exciting and nerve racking time of the school year. There are definitely things first year students should know about the room experience. These are a few tips, tricks, and stories of what to avoid, what to know, and how to live the ultimate dorm life. Freshmen students should stay tuned for what is to come of their first year living in a dorm room in college.

What to avoid!

Freshmen students should definitely avoid the roommate terror scare. My first year of college was rough living life a roommate I did not get along with. Rude and disrespectful is never the way to go. At most universities RA’s provide the students residing in their halls with a roommate agreement. A roommate Agreement is like a contract of rules each roommate abides to live by. By agreeing to sign a roommate contract, each individual is promising to follow certain rules and live by certain standards. This allows both students to agree on factors like when guests should be over, when music should be on, and what the living condition should be like at all times.

What you will encounter?

What first year college students often forget about dorm life is that there are always going to be things that your roommate does that does not one hundred percent live up to your expectations. Since there are two people sharing a room, each person will have their own way of living and caring themselves. One individual may prefer to sleep early while the other individual may prefer to sleep during later hours. Roommates must accommodate to each other’s living in such a way that is manageable. Students should expect to encounter various differences but they in most cases will be bearable.

Fun

Dorm life can be a fun first year experience. Think about it, meeting a brand new person from another state, the same state, or another country, and potentially becoming lifelong friends. Many people become bff with their first year roommate and even decide to room together the following year of college. Your roommate is like your first friend in college. Most people do not know anyone at their college until their initial encounter with their roommate after move-in day.

Dorm Life in General

Living in a dorm can be both a good and positive factor to college life. Having the privilege of meeting someone new especially during a big chapter of your life can be a warm experience. Living in a dorm room does prepare students for other living experiences. Several students agree that living in a dorm room their first year has prepared them for living with multiple people while residing in suite/apartment rooming. Although living with another person can be a nerve racking experience, it is a typical aspect of college life that all students can expect.

5 Tips To Help You Be A Good Roommate

August 14, 2014 in Campus Life, Colleges

 

Be The Best Roommate Ever

Be The Best Roommate Ever

Having a roommate can be one of the best experiences in college or, easily, one of the worst. Whether you’ve decided to room with a friend or a total stranger, the rules are still the same. If you want to have a good relationship with your roommate, it all starts with you. Follow these five tips to avoid the common mistakes that turn good roommate relationships sour:

1. Talk Things Out. You’ve heard it before: communication is key. If something happens, sit down with your roommate and have a face-to-face conversation. I’ve seen roommate relationships fall apart because something happens and, instead of talking to each other, they start complaining about their roommates behind their backs. This method creates nothing but awkward situations and general unhappiness. I don’t recommend it.

2. Just Talk. After you and your roommate are fully moved in, just talk. Don’t reserve communication for when something’s wrong. Take the opportunity to get to know your roommate. Around 10 PM, when I was sure my roommate had finished moving in, I went over to say hi. We ended up talking for a really long time and I learned so much about her!

3. Don’t Expect To Be Best Friends. Some roommates become the best of friends, and some don’t. Don’t put the pressure on yourself or your roommate to reach this level, especially when you first meet. Remember, you’re trying to make a new friend, not scare your roommate away. And if your roommate doesn’t end up being your best friend, don’t worry about it. My first-year roommate and I didn’t end up becoming best friends, but we are friends and I’m couldn’t have been happier with my roommate situation.

4. Clean Up After Yourself. Or, at least, keep your mess on your side. This should go without saying. Don’t be a slob. But, if that ship has sailed, just don’t bury your roommate in your clothes and garbage and you should be all right, for the most part. Most people I’ve encountered in college are messy. You don’t have all the time in the world to clean your room and keep it organized. But being considerate with where you put your stuff will help you avoid conflict.

5. Ask Before You Take. This applies to food, clothes, supplies, and anything else that you don’t own. If you want to lose a friend, borrow everything without taking. If you want to keep the relationship going, show your roommate that you have respect for what is theirs by asking first. Even if you both agree to share everything, you should still ask.

If You Don't Own It, Don't Take It Without Asking

If You Don’t Own It, Don’t Take It Without Asking

The bottom line is this: if you want a good roommate, you have to be a good roommate. Yes, there are exceptions. Sometimes, being a good person and reaching out to your roommate simply aren’t enough. Sometimes, you get stuck with someone who has tons of negative energy or just isn’t happy and doesn’t want any sort of relationship. But, whatever the case, the name of the game is respect. If you can’t give it, you definitely don’t deserve to get it.

Roommate Selection: Should You Go Random

August 6, 2014 in Campus Life, Colleges

One of the biggest concerns that people having going in to college is whether they should randomly select a roommate or pick someone they know. For the most part, each option has its ups and downs. But freshman year is a time to learn more about yourself and how to live with others. For this reason, I highly suggest going random. But, if that isn’t convincing enough, here are some more reasons to consider randomly selecting a roommate:

  • It’s a great way to meet someone new. Almost everyone goes into college with the intention of making some new friends and meeting new people. If you choose to have a roommate randomly selected for you, even if you spend every waking moment in your room, you’re guaranteed to meet at least one other person. And, while most roommates don’t end up becoming best friends, this is your first real chances at starting a new friendship in college. Will it be awkward at first? Probably. But first meetings, in general, are usually awkward. Regardless, during the first few weeks of college, people are more than willing to meet new people and make new friends.
  • It can open you up to a new friend group. If you room with a friend or acquaintance, you’re less likely to branch out. If you came into college with a group of friends already set and you don’t want anymore best friends, then this isn’t something you need to worry about. But college is a time to branch out and network. Chances are, you and your roommate will attract different sets of friends. This opens you up to a whole new group of friends!
  • You’ll learn how to live with someone new. By now, you know a lot about your friends. You probably don’t know everything, but you know quite a bit. Living with someone you don’t know much about is a great way to learn how to live with people who aren’t family or close friends.
  • If you and your roommate don’t mesh well, you’re not the one to blame. Let me re-phrase this: If you get a crappy roommate, you don’t have to live with the fact that you picked that person, because you didn’t. Some people I know selected people that they knew and it didn’t work out, and they blamed themselves. What sounded like a good idea turned out to be a complete nightmare.
  • You won’t jeopardize any previous friendships. As I mentioned above, you know a lot about your friends, but you don’t know everything. And it could be that one quirk or habit that they have that ends up driving you up a wall and ruining your friendship. I know a few friendships that ended because they didn’t know each other as well as they thought they did.
  • You learn a few things about tolerance. You have quirks, so it’s to be expected that your random roommate will have their own quirks as well. But rooming with a random person is a great way to learn about real compromise. If your roommate is an early riser and you’re a night owl, now’s the time to sharpen those communication skills.

Overall, I highly recommend having a randomly selected roommate. It opens you up to new possibilities and it helps you learn and grow. Does going random always work out? No. But treat whatever happens as a learning experience.

Even Will Ferrell Got A Random Roommate

Even Will Ferrell Got A Random Roommate